From friend-zone to more… is it possible?
Hi Jen,
OK, HERE IS A QUICK SYNOPSIS OF MY ISSUE.
I’ve been friends with this guy for over 10 years. YES 10 YEARS! Our families are friends, that’s how we met. I don’t think either of us were ever into each other romantically in the beginnings we were kids, 18 yrs. Over the years we’ve lived in different cities and one of us was always in a relationship… we’ve both been through a couple bad breakups and are always there for each other. I’m usually his go-to for girl advice!!
But the problem here is we’ve strictly remained justttt friends. We had a drunk moment a couple years back of ALMOST hooking up, but it just never happened physically. Now we’re both in our late twenties and he just got out of a 3 year relationship…this is the first time we’ve both been single… and lately is the first time I’ve noticed I have real feelings for him. He’s definitely someone I can see myself with and I can’t help but wonder if he thinks the same.
I don’t want to lose the friendship that we already have, but I can’t ignore these feelings… do you think it’s possible to get out of the friend-zone with him?? What should I do?
Thank you ahead of time,
*****
Hi babe!
FIRST OFF...
I think it’s great that you have someone so special in your life. I think the best relationships are those that have a genuine friendship and mutual respect for one another. Seems like you already have that down! Now is it possible to transition into something more? I think you’re at the point where you need to find out one way or the other.
If this is someone you can really see yourself with, and you’re both currently single- go for it!
I think you have two ways to go about this.
You can take the direct approach, be upfront with him and tell him exactly what you’re feeling. I know you’re scared of ruining what you already have, but if you’re as good of friends as you say you are, I doubt that an honest conversation will change that. You’re risking things getting a little awks for a bit, but I’m sure you’ll swing right back into the friend-zone rhythm in no time.
OR
You can start showing him a different side of you. Be more flirty and affectionate, make little comments - feel it out! From there you should get a pretty good idea of where his heads at. He also may be surprised by his feelings towards you once you show him this side- it’s hard for guys to put themselves out there if they don’t feel like you’re into them. So let it be known! Subtlety is key here though, don’t go jump on him the next time you see him.
Whatever approach you decide, just know you’ll feel so much better once you give it a shot. Even if the worst case scenario happens and he’s not into you like that, at least you don’t have to live with a big fat “what if?”.
What if’s are KILLERS.
Oh and if you need flirting tips, there’s no-one better than flirting expert Rebecca Larue. If you haven’t seen this already, you’re welcome: http://www.hulu.com/watch/309560
LOL. Get some good tips?
Anyways…
Go get your answer, girl…and do it with confidence.
GOOD LUCK,
Jen xx
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